In a time when conversations around bullying, identity, mental health, and criminal justice reform are more important than ever, Jeremy Tyler’s memoir Fitting In offers a deeply personal story that gives those issues a human face. This is not simply a story of hardship. It is an unfiltered journey through a life shaped by feeling like an outsider in every environment, at school, at home, within faith, inside prison, and even after returning to society.
From the opening chapters, readers are brought into a childhood marked by relentless bullying and isolation. As a quiet, skinny, bookish child, Tyler becomes an easy target for classmates who taunt, assault, and humiliate him daily. He recounts being dragged from a bathroom stall and choked by other students, and the painful memory of sitting in a cafeteria where peers would physically move away from him as if he were contagious. These are not distant memories, but defining moments that teach him how to make himself invisible in order to survive.
In this isolation, Tyler finds comfort in two places: books and his apricot-colored poodle, Ginger. The library becomes a refuge where he can avoid harm, and his bedroom becomes a sanctuary where he reads for hours with his dog curled beside him. When Ginger is tragically killed, it feels as though the only safe part of his world has been taken away. These tender moments reveal how loneliness shaped his early years and how quiet forms of survival became his norm.
As he grows older, another hidden trauma surfaces. His love of piano, the one thing that brings him pride, becomes entangled with sexual abuse by his teacher. Already burdened by shame and fear from bullying and a near-kidnapping incident in childhood, Tyler chooses silence. That silence follows him for years and becomes a recurring theme throughout his life.
Complicating his inner struggle is his upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness while knowing he is gay. In a religious environment where homosexuality results in complete shunning, Tyler learns to suppress his identity in order to keep his family. The emotional conflict between faith, identity, and belonging is portrayed with honesty and nuance, revealing the toll of living a life where authenticity feels dangerous.
The memoir then moves into a starkly different chapter: a ten-year federal prison sentence for a non-violent offense. Tyler provides an unvarnished look at prison life, where days blur into years and survival means adapting to monotony and deprivation. Even more striking is what happens after his release. Freedom does not feel liberating; it feels disorienting. He struggles to use modern technology, stands frozen in a store unable to choose a protein bar, and is called “sir” for the first time a small moment that forces him to confront how much of his life has passed. He is refused by multiple banks when trying to open an account and finds even entry-level jobs out of reach. These experiences highlight the hidden barriers faced by individuals attempting to rebuild their lives after incarceration.
Throughout the story, Greek culture and food provide warmth and grounding. Memories of meals prepared by his grandmother and mother, and the first Greek meal he eats after prison one his body cannot physically handle show how deeply food is tied to memory, comfort, and identity. These details add humanity and texture to a narrative filled with difficult truths.
At its core, Fitting In is about the psychological cost of never feeling like you belong. It explores how bullying shapes self-worth, how silence protects and harms at the same time, how faith and identity can collide, and how prison changes a person long after the sentence ends. Yet it is also a story of resilience, memory, and the courage it takes to finally speak about experiences long kept hidden.
Jeremy Tyler writes with emotional clarity and vivid detail that allows readers to feel each stage of his life rather than simply observe it. His story resonates with survivors of bullying and abuse, members of the LGBTQ+ community navigating faith and family, advocates for criminal justice reform, and anyone who has ever felt like they did not quite fit in.
Fitting In is more than a memoir. It is an invitation to understand the unseen struggles that shape a person’s life and a reminder that the desire to belong is one of the most powerful forces in the human experience.
About the Author
Jeremy Tyler is a culinary artist, musician, and fitness instructor whose life experiences inspired him to share this deeply personal story.
Availability
Fitting In is available now on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GKJG6MLR
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